Don't want to go to church... just want to stay curled up in my warm, comfy bed (it's 62 in my house) and relax and not think about what's going on outside my house.  I'll have to do that tomorrow anyway.

I didn't go to church this morning, but it's been weeks since I skipped night church.  I know what H would say: it doesn't matter what I want, but I should do the right thing... I need to go to church... it encourages me and others... to not give into myself... that this is important.

Maybe I need to make some changes the week I have papers to grade: no socializing, and stay home and focus on work.  I thought staying home yesterday would be enough, but I guess not.  Maybe I don't need to cut out socializing altogether, as I'm still getting together with my deaf friend every week... but the five hours we spent together on Friday could've been cut back.  I guess I'm realizing that I need to plan better-- in the past, I didn't plan anything during my grading weekends.

H would probably ask if socializing is more important than church.  No, it's not, and church covers both anyway, so it's not like church leaves me unsocial.  When I made my self care plan, I said church every week, and I've been going twice a week-- but that's just my defense, and... well, I can hear H's reminder last week "Wednesday night, Sunday morning, Sunday night, we go to church."  But then I think I've already skipped this morning, it won't hurt to skip again.

Then I think that I'm doing well-- getting everything done-- and deserve a "break."  Church shouldn't be included in that break.  I'm not doing that well because my house is still a mess even though I spent a half-hour cleaning it up yesterday.  And, I'm thinking about going away next weekend, which is probably not what I nor my house nor budget need but what I want.

Maybe I'll be able to talk myself into it by later today... that happens sometimes.