I skipped class today... which isn't so bad if you're the student, but much worse when you're the teacher. I awoke at 5:30, didn't feel great, was very warm, sat deliberating for quite a while before I sent the emails to cancel (I was pretty darn sure I'd feel better when I awoke for good an hour later). I knew I shouldn't do it, but I did anyway. It makes me feel lousy and hate myself... so I try not to think about it too much.
Not sure what H will say when I tell her... and I really don't want to. She's done subbing this week, so we should be able to meet semi-regularly now. Good, because I feel I've lost all control. I also slept til 10 when I'm supposed to be up around 8.
I've also been spending waaayyy too much money. It's October, and I need to buckle down and focus on saving and such. That also makes me upset with myself.
I want a spanking so I can move on... probably deserve two.
Liz, you don't need to stop taking care of yourself in order to get someone to pay attention to you.
ReplyDeleteDo anything. Do 5 minutes of whatever you need to do. A spanking is not going to fix everything.
Hugs.
Well... it worked. :) The attention bit, anyway. I didn't stop taking care of myself to get attention... I stopped because I'm depressed. The spankings kinda worked as well because I felt less guilty.
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