I really haven't been journaling... or e-mailing anyone.  Not much talking lately.  I did get together with E the past two weeks, and that's nice because we can just spill and say whatever we want... in fact, last week she apologized for complaining so much.  I almost prefer talking about serious and negative stuff to anything else.  I went to a party this past weekend, but the only topics I could think of that I even wanted to talk about were serious.  I don't like those light-hearted conversations very much.

H has been pushing me... a lot.  I've grown so much since summer.  I still have rough days, but they're shorter, I can get out of them more easily, and I can still get things done during them.  Lately we've been talking about thoughts... and not letting myself be ruled by my emotions.  When we met last week, she gave me a some homework about what to do for the negative thoughts and how to counter them.  Lots of work-- it might not seem like it, but to someone like me with pretty much consistent thoughts, and sometimes overlapping ones, it's overwhelming at times.

I even got a lecture from her on Tuesday.  It was through text so it probably wasn't as bad as it could've been, but it sure wasn't pleasant to read, and I cried.  Sure was effective, though!  I wrote her an e-mail yesterday to talk about it a bit... I've been feeling insecure since then (since this summer, actually, with S) because whenever I've gotten a lecture that bad, it means the person on the other end was not happy with me.  The good thing about H is that she doesn't hold grudges and forgets easily... now I just have to convince myself of that.