This seems like a good weekend to hunker down and not go anywhere.  I'm not depressed, so I don't know why I want to.  Maybe I just want H to take notice?  To know that I do need her.  She'll be busy all next week with a retreat, and I didn't even see her at church on Wed.  I wasn't planning to go, but then, in the mail, I got a nice note from one of my new friends, and that reminded me that I missed everyone (since I hadn't seen them for a month).

My counselor and I spent most of hour session talking about how I've been challenging my friends lately.  She said there's a continuum with "passive" on one end, "aggressive" on the other, and "assertive" in between.  I've jumped from passive to aggressive when I need to be somewhere in the middle.  She said I need to practice and recommended a book to read.  I used to never challenge anyone (one of my college professors once used the word "mouse" about me as an undergrad), but now I'll go around challenging friends and even strangers. 

After a lot of thought on this, I've figured out mostly why I challenge my friends: when I'm upset with them.  I've had two friends in the past few months who were very late (20+ minutes), and I had nothing to do but hang around and wait for them and play on my dumb phone.  That made me very annoyed, and I acted out.  Still not sure what happened with my cousin and why I challenged her... the only thing I can think about was last time I was visiting, she told me she wouldn't have let me do something.  Right, like she can tell me what to do.  I just need to learn the difference between when that is true or not and when I need to be respectful of others.