Maybe I sound a little obsessed with C....she's just a big part of my life right now...my "bestest friend" at the moment.  We text back and forth all day, e-mail sometimes, and I see her twice a week and usually end up talking for at least a few minutes each time, sometimes longer.  So yeah, she's important.

She's also pretty humble.  And not.  It's such a weird combination.  She will absolutely stick to what she knows is right, no backing down.  I was pretty frustrated and had told her that it didn't seem like she was hearing/understanding what I was saying, so we talked about that.  She still wasn't getting it, but later was like "it's not like I just grab people passing by and bring them into our conversation!" and I actually had enough gumption to say "but you do!"  She was about to protest "no," and say something else, but stopped.  That was the point I'd been trying to make all along.  "I don't see what you're seeing, but there must be some there.  I'm sorry, I didn't meant to do that.  Will you forgive me?"  SUPER HUMBLE.  I would never be able to do that.  And later, she joked "when you see me doing that, you can kick me and be like 'see, I told you so!'"

She also said something along the lines of "are you saying that....(don't remember what it was, but it was something negative about herself)" and I was able to say "yes."  Between those two, I felt much better when we were done.

It's VERY hard for me to talk.  Once again, to get to this conversation, C had to say we were going to talk, even though I protested with a no.
C: we r going to talk about this sunday night dear lizzie...
L: Noooo we aren't
C: Yes we r
L: You said now or later and i picked now!
C: We r not finished and texting isn't cutting it

Hmmm...she is nicer than she sounds!  I was having a hard time with the e-mail she'd written the night before (after I had written a bit more about what was upsetting me), and to me it felt like she was just saying "you're wrong, you're wrong."  So I felt a bit wounded, and still felt that way Sun afternoon, so knew I had to do something so that our conversation would go well that night!  I wrote her a nice long email, and every sentence started out "remember when" and ended with something I appreciated about her or liked about the memory.  She really liked it.  :) 

Still, I'm afraid I wasn't very responsive when we talked on Sun, and I apologized for it, but C just said it will take some practice.  Sun night was more difficult because I was talking about something about her that was frustrating for me, so that was very uncomfortable.  I really wanted to hide my face but didn't, just rested my hand on my chin/cheek most of the time.  I ended up sitting on the floor curled up next to the wall because I couldn't talk in the chair.  Mostly, C asked me questions (which I tried to answer, but I do remember one time saying "I can't say I don't know, because I do, but I really can't answer...") and talked.

She said she makes suggestions... I forwarded her the text from Friday and was like "this is not a suggestion..."!  (the "yes we are" part)  We'll see what she says.  I kinda feel like we might end up talking about this f2f.  But then, I never know because it seems like she picks the oddest stuff.  She's mentioned that before...about suggestions, and they are never off-track, just usually stuff I don't want to do or makes me uncomfortable.  Sooo it's good for me but hard!