Feeling nervous, so figured I'd come write about it.

I keep thinking "if I can just get through tomorrow, I'll be fine."  I think this a lot, though.  When I have a headache, I don't think "what can I do about it" or "how can I make this better," just "suck it up and get through it.  Kinda my view on life now too, I guess.  My dad has an illness that's slowly killing him, but he probably won't die from it for years.  So, there's nothing he can do about it except try to get rid of some of the side effects.  He just has to get through it.

I'm soo clingy lately too.  On Sunday one of my friends had to go do something, and I was like "don't leave me!"  Yeah, I actually said that.

Proud of myself today so far, though.  Got up and got breakfast even though I couldn't have my usual.  I don't want to eat... much harder when I'm nervous, but I so need it to keep myself on an even keel.  If you know me in person, I don't usually talk about what I've done well, praise myself-- praise usually makes me uncomfortable and I don't breathe, and it makes me feel awful about myself.  It's easier to write about here.  But, S even praised me in a text when I told her about breakfast... a good for you and keep it up!!! (yes, with three exclamation points).  That made me happy too.  I will say that I LOVE praise from H... she's very encouraging so I can't even say she doesn't praise me often (because she does), but I know that I deserved it and therefore don't mind (since she has high standards).

So, tomorrow I start at a new school (really, the first day is easy, so I don't know why I'm worried: introductions and go over the syllabus), have a counseling session, and start tutoring (haven't tutored in eight years, but I'm sure that will go fine once I get over the initial nervousness).  Enough for one day?  And then I'll go to church and my friends will ask "how was teaching" and I want them to because I want to know they care, but I don't want to talk about it necessarily.

But, between tutoring and church, I have some time to walk.  :)  That should help me process the day.  I'm going to need two changes of clothes and two meals and will be gone for fourteen hours-- long day for me!  Typically, my definition of a "busy day" is that I have two things scheduled.  No, I'm not an introvert and homebody at all.  ;)

Okay, that turned out to be longer than I was expecting.  Time to go make lunch.

Breathe (just a little reminder to myself-- will need it tomorrow too!).