Still freaking out-- in a good way, of course.

H mentioned a schedule... bedtime... and a time to get up.  She used to term "strict flexible schedule," which I like much better.  Hard-and-fast times make me want to rebel and feel like I'm too restricted, but having an hour in which to retire and get up should help.  Just don't want to set my alarm on days I don't have to get up.

I didn't think I needed a bedtime, but last week I would postpone going to sleep just because I knew I'd have to wake up the next morning if I did.  So, I'd stay awake for as long as I possibly could until I couldn't hold my eyes open anymore. 

H said she knows how I feel.  We've had a conversation about negative thoughts and keeping those away, replacing them with good thoughts, and she shared her experience with me... and said it took her two years of hard work.  I've been working on that since our conversation in February.  The depression, I don't think she's gone through that, but apparently something resonates.  She said it's hard for her because she's been there, and I don't want it to be hard for her!  That made me cry.

In some ways she's more effective than my counselor because she's willing to jump in there with me.  She believes that I'm really in trouble (whereas my counselors and some friends don't think it's a big deal) and she knows it's important to acknowledge sin as sin-- and that it's serious.  And, she's good with specifics.

Yay for good things.  :)  And for feeling the tiniest bit of hope.